One year ago today was one of the absolute best days of my life.
November 19th, 2008 I found out I was pregnant with my sweet tiny baby Telia. Never has there been such rejoicing over blessing- such a miracle moment to find out we were expecting. It was the perfect gift from God and I just radiated with excitement and love for our unborn child. I will never, ever forget how good it felt that day.
I had no idea that I would only walk around with that mind-blowingly wonderful news for a month, and then the baby I fell so in love with would pass on to be with the Lord.
But how amazing to have loved?
Love that strong is impossible to forget. And we can celebrate that! I have been thinking a lot about those weeks of pregnancy last year, and they are the sweetest thoughts a mama could think! I loved those weeks. I will always cherish those weeks I had with my baby girl.
Don't wait to celebrate the life of your child until you're "out of harm's way". Do we actually think we know what harm is and when it will hit? That we'll ever be "safe"? There is no magical number of days or weeks that you can cash in for assurance of life. Because no 12 week mark, no delivery, no status of health-strength-years... can bring us peace. Only the love of our Heavenly Father can bring us that peace, despite potential storms. And if the storm hits, He will continue to give. He'll give you hope. He can restore your heart, making previous tragedy into sweet memories. He did that for me. And on top it all, he blessed me with Bolder. Another child to fall head over heels in love with! Sometimes I just shake my head because I don't know how I could be so blessed to so deeply love 3 different children with all that I am?!!! And the only one I've yet to meet face to face is my Silas.
Now, Bolder's impending arrival is any time...but I can't help but be slightly bummed out that this won't be his Birthday. I've been hoping in the back of my heart that this day could bring forth the miracle of life that we began celebrating in Telia exactly a year ago. That I would finally hold another of my precious children in my arms after such an exceptionally hard year for our family. Things have been asked of us that have taken immense physical, emotional and mental toll on each of us. I wanted today to hold a blessing that could quiet the past 12 months and bring fresh air to the Wight house. I wanted my Telia and she beat me to heaven. And now I want my Bolder and can hardly wait for the labor that will bring him to me.
I want to encourage every parent out there...do not withhold your love. Do not guard your hearts. Your child is a gift today. I've had about 33 months to fall for Silas, I had 8 weeks to fall for Telia, and so far, I've had 40 weeks to fall for Bolder.
The greatest gift, and you hold it in this moment. So it's a truly blessed day. Be brave to love and allow yourself to fall.
It will be the best days of your life.
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3 comments:
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Its beautiful and your gift back in the midst of all of this messiness.
I am 29 weeks pregnant with Ashby Noel and all I do is talk to her and stop when she kicks and flips. What a great reminder of the precious gift that is her life.
Love
this is really sweet, thank you! i admit, i kept my baby at arms length until she was actually IN my arms. I didn't want to get "attached." Now i wish i did it differently...did a little more dreaming and loving on her beforehand. She is so awesome, and when i think that that was HER inside the whole time? my precious ivie lu? ug, i feel like i missed out a bit. you're right, there is no 'safe' period, so just love.
I just read this. Thanks Mare. I really did think that I was past the danger zone. Didn't know that things like that could happen. Thank you for the reminder that our only true assurance is in our Heavenly Father. He knows & loves all of our babies & He has the perfect plan for them.
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