Sunday, September 26, 2010
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Oh Boldy B.
Dear Bolder,
You are the sparkle in my eye and the pep in my step. Your dashing smile makes me- and anyone else privledged to come into contact with you- just swoon.
You are tall and skinny, ridiculously muscular, and your feet should be about half the size they actually are. Your four front top teeth are working their way in and I’m mourning your cute gums, but delighting pretty hard in the adorable new smile they produce!
There is a constant debate concerning your hair. One week you are undoubtedly a red head. The next, it is totally blonde- and then back again. It is keeping us on our toes to be sure! ;) Either way, it's fine, silky, and smells like Burt's Bees.
Your favorite toy is a plastic orange hammer- second favorite is a matching screwdriver. You are such a boy! And Lord help the brother who comes between you and your hammer!!!
When I am getting ready to feed you, you start panicking like it just can’t happen soon enough or I’m tricking you or something. I was so embarrassed of this your first couple months but now I love it- it’s your signature! And you stop the moment you get what you wantJ
I’m getting proud of your bravery. I must admit I was hoping you’d be one to take things slow and think before you act and just sit quiet, chunky and content to be still. But you didn’t get the memo. Apparently you have to save face around Silas, and I think that’s why you are racing to grow up as fast as you can. You have impeccable balance for someone your age and rarely fall down- this you get from dad.
You are a true extrovert- this comes from mama. Honest, nobody can imagine you unhappy. This is hilarious because the first months of your life you screamed like there was no tomorrow…all.the.time…unless we were at a party. When there are people around to flirt, joke, or play with, you are completely content. You are the world’s cutest party animal! I can hardly keep up with you;)
If you could choose between ice cream or a banana, I’m pretty sure you’d pick the banana. You really don’t care for baby food, unless I’ve made it- you think I’m an excellent chef! ;) But mostly you want to feed yourself and you do so with one foot propped up on the tray of your high chair- too cute for words.
We have five chickens and you could watch them for hours. Actually, any wild life snags your attention and keeps it. I literally have to snap you out of your critter-induced stupor. Oh wait, you look at your big bro with the same focus and awe!
For some reason you find it extremely important to be in my arms for the better part of any day. I find it extremely important as well.
My absolute favorite thing you do- and always have done- is wrap your arm around my chin with your hand on my cheek. I don’t know how to describe that I guess, but I’ll never forget the way your skinny little arm and strong, soft hand feels against my face.
I love you, son.
Monday, April 26, 2010
hair don't
Don't worry, we kept the clippers out and finished the hair cut- but this would have been pretty awesome:) Too bad it almost made me barf just looking at that rat tail!
Friday, March 12, 2010
I'm baked.
I can't bake.
I mean I seriously can't bake. Not the "it didn't turn out so great", "must have measured something wrong", "it's not all the way cooked through" little blunders every now and then. It's become a fact of life. And I don't enjoy it even a tiny bit.
Now, I'm not a total domestic flop in the kitchen. I can cook. And I'm not shabby at it. I married an ex-chef and I have his vote:). I truly love to cook. Give me an onion, some garlic, a saute pan, cutting board and the stove top....mmmmm mmmmm!
But I make a chocolate chip cookie and it's flat as a board and dark as night. The strangest combination of crunchy and chewy, and it is not a good one. The crunch is a burnt crunch and the chewy is a stale chewy. This is not an exaggeration or a one time deal. This is life when I'm wearing the oven mitt.
I've tried blaming my baking powder. My baking soda. My measuring cups. My recipe books. My baking sheets. My pyrex pans. My flour. My sugar. My butter. My mixer. My spatula. My wooden spoon. My vanilla. My timer. And to "fix" these culprits, I've replaced every. single. one of them.
It's not about the oven. Over the past year and a half we've lived in 7 different homes. All but one had ovens. There is no way, NO WAY possible that all those ovens are to blame for my constant failures.
After years of this nonsense I've come to this conclusion: there is just too much chemistry involved and when my hand measures, mixes and pours something that is supposed to end up in the oven, the ingredients know the truth. They know the only reason I ever passed anything scientific in school is because I was "a pleasure to have in class". They know I couldn't pass a test if it involved words like "chemical reaction" and I have no 'hypothesis' for what will happen when I put those goggles on and add all these abbreviated substances to the beaker or whatever the hell any of that is supposed to mean. Chemistry class broke my 4.0 GPA. With a flippin D, that I was truly relieved to recieve. Moral: I aint no chemist.
And after my final batch of burnt flour and sugar melted on my beautiful new baking sheet, it's over. I'm breaking up with my canisters containing these uncompromising ingredients. Tonight I choose to submit to boundaries in the kitchen and vow to cease my attempts to bake some yummy, flaky, fluffy, delightful pastry, cookie, or cake. If there is more than a 'sprinkle' of flour in the recipe, it just doesn't work for me.
I might a little bit panic when someone asks me to bring "goodies" to a party or a Bible study.
My mama was a Home Economics Major. But there is no baking gene in this Wight girl.
I mean I seriously can't bake. Not the "it didn't turn out so great", "must have measured something wrong", "it's not all the way cooked through" little blunders every now and then. It's become a fact of life. And I don't enjoy it even a tiny bit.
Now, I'm not a total domestic flop in the kitchen. I can cook. And I'm not shabby at it. I married an ex-chef and I have his vote:). I truly love to cook. Give me an onion, some garlic, a saute pan, cutting board and the stove top....mmmmm mmmmm!
But I make a chocolate chip cookie and it's flat as a board and dark as night. The strangest combination of crunchy and chewy, and it is not a good one. The crunch is a burnt crunch and the chewy is a stale chewy. This is not an exaggeration or a one time deal. This is life when I'm wearing the oven mitt.
I've tried blaming my baking powder. My baking soda. My measuring cups. My recipe books. My baking sheets. My pyrex pans. My flour. My sugar. My butter. My mixer. My spatula. My wooden spoon. My vanilla. My timer. And to "fix" these culprits, I've replaced every. single. one of them.
It's not about the oven. Over the past year and a half we've lived in 7 different homes. All but one had ovens. There is no way, NO WAY possible that all those ovens are to blame for my constant failures.
After years of this nonsense I've come to this conclusion: there is just too much chemistry involved and when my hand measures, mixes and pours something that is supposed to end up in the oven, the ingredients know the truth. They know the only reason I ever passed anything scientific in school is because I was "a pleasure to have in class". They know I couldn't pass a test if it involved words like "chemical reaction" and I have no 'hypothesis' for what will happen when I put those goggles on and add all these abbreviated substances to the beaker or whatever the hell any of that is supposed to mean. Chemistry class broke my 4.0 GPA. With a flippin D, that I was truly relieved to recieve. Moral: I aint no chemist.
And after my final batch of burnt flour and sugar melted on my beautiful new baking sheet, it's over. I'm breaking up with my canisters containing these uncompromising ingredients. Tonight I choose to submit to boundaries in the kitchen and vow to cease my attempts to bake some yummy, flaky, fluffy, delightful pastry, cookie, or cake. If there is more than a 'sprinkle' of flour in the recipe, it just doesn't work for me.
I might a little bit panic when someone asks me to bring "goodies" to a party or a Bible study.
My mama was a Home Economics Major. But there is no baking gene in this Wight girl.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
On The Night You Were Born...
The days were long that week. Real. Stinking. Long. And hard.
Bolder was over-due and there were circumstances close that made me fight fear with my dukes full fledged and an army of friends and family praying for us. A very close friend lost her full-term baby early in the week and it was a crazy time of grieving with her with my blessing still alive inside me. I knew I had no right to Bolder's life just because the Lord had already taken one of my babies too soon.
I felt raw, slightly peaceful, and extremely vulnerable. I tried to stay hopeful.
In attempts to curb anxiety and enjoy my life and that inside me, I woke up on Saturday the 21st and told Thadd we needed to go up to the mountain, play in the snow, and cut down our Christmas tree. He just laughed because I had been VERY adamant about skipping this tradition this year. But I was just itching to decorate with twinkling lights and get the season rolling, and take my mind off my growing discomfort, longing, and fear.
So we drove up the mountain, hiked through the snow, and came back down with the perfect tree:) It was sooooo fun! Starbucks on the way home and QFC for Christmas cookie ingredients. We made pizza for dinner. While Thadd put up the lights I let Silas help me make, roll and cut out the cookie dough. And I noticed myself being very snappy with him, like he wasn't "doing it right"?! He wasn't even 2 years old... I knew I was acting weird but I felt the same as I had for the previous 4 months, with contractions all the time and a deep aching back from standing too long. I excused it all since we had such a busy and physical day. But hello control freak- "don't mess up the cookies!" I still feel badly about it, haha! I needed a break after burning the first batch. Started putting ornaments on the tree and only finished the top half before the contractions exhausted me so I sat down again. Then when putting Silas to bed I had to leave the room to have another contraction, and then it hit me, THIS IS ACTUALLY IT!
I nonchelantly mentioned it to Thadd and he didn't really believe me. We got online to play Halo- yes, we play halo- with my sisters and brothers. I was very focused and not talking much. The contractions were getting so hard and long. Finally, I said "I'm having a baby tonight!" It was hilarious and exciting and wonderful. We called my parents to pick up Silas and then I called my midwife after they left. She told me I sounded good and to call back after timing contractions and they got closer together. It was about 10:3o at night so we all tried to take a nap before the "show"! Wasn't going to happen. Things came on so fast from there and I told Thadd to call back our midwife, and my doulas- sister Laura and friend Jess! I needed their presence and support, pronto.
I was laboring in the living room with The Office on. I told everyone they could go ahead and laugh I would love the distraction. The assistant midwife had never seen The Office before and she was laughing so much it was the best! Remember the one with the fire drill?! "you stay alive, I 'll get help!" This I laughed at :) But I was very much in my own world during my contractions. They lasted forever but I was so grateful for slight breaks in between- something I did NOT have with my first labor.
I could only take contractions on my hands and knees with Thadd squeezing my hips from behind, since he is massive strong, he was causing me pain but I preferred to think on that pain rather than the pain that was happening in a ring around my uterus shooting around my back. It was easier to "let it be" with that pain. I was very direct with what I wanted/needed in labor, I love this in hindsight because it means I knew my body so well in my labor and that's what I had hoped for. There were some barked orders but I don't think anyone minded:)
Thadd was my hero.
I remember going into the bathroom and telling my sister that anyone who has to be in the hospital, on their back, is SO STUPID not to get an epidural. SO SO SO STUPID!!!! What a dumb thing to try to do "natural" who gives a rip? I said it was so not worth it and proves nothing. I couldn't have taken a contraction on my back if it was the last thing I ever did! And here I was giving birth at home like Mrs. I'morganicgranola! Hahaha!
I said all this in transition... But I still believe it;)
The assistant, Suzanne, asked me if I wanted to take my pants off to get ready for birth and I was like, "Absolutely not. I'm not squatting here naked for the next ten hours!" then I looked at her seriously and asked if she really thought Bolder would be born that night. She raised her eyebrows and nodded, "oh yeah, I think it will be very soon."
My midwife had arrived and after being here for about 2 minutes I heard her say, "is she pushing? Is she really pushing?!" Well, I was. She knelt down next to me and asked whether I wanted my baby born on the living room floor or in my bed. I was surprised by her promptness as I thought things would take quite some time since my water hadn't even broken yet. But I was not going to give birth in the middle of my house! To the bedroom we went. Then all hell broke loose as I pushed and pushed! Loudly I might add! Or so I thought. My water broke and soon after his head was out- my baby was almost here!!!
But then he got stuck at his ribcage as he tried to birth his own arm. I thought I was dying. Worst shocking pain ever and I yelled at everyone saying "SOMETHING IS WRONG!" They just smiled at me as I pushed one last time and birthed my precious Bolder Ephraim and they laid him straight on my chest- Heaven...I was overjoyed and relieved and could not stop laughing and smiling! Thadd was sobbing above me and all 9lbs 12oz and 22inches of a perfect Bolder was screaming in my arms! Just 19 minutes after the midwife got to my house :)
Bolder was over-due and there were circumstances close that made me fight fear with my dukes full fledged and an army of friends and family praying for us. A very close friend lost her full-term baby early in the week and it was a crazy time of grieving with her with my blessing still alive inside me. I knew I had no right to Bolder's life just because the Lord had already taken one of my babies too soon.
I felt raw, slightly peaceful, and extremely vulnerable. I tried to stay hopeful.
In attempts to curb anxiety and enjoy my life and that inside me, I woke up on Saturday the 21st and told Thadd we needed to go up to the mountain, play in the snow, and cut down our Christmas tree. He just laughed because I had been VERY adamant about skipping this tradition this year. But I was just itching to decorate with twinkling lights and get the season rolling, and take my mind off my growing discomfort, longing, and fear.
So we drove up the mountain, hiked through the snow, and came back down with the perfect tree:) It was sooooo fun! Starbucks on the way home and QFC for Christmas cookie ingredients. We made pizza for dinner. While Thadd put up the lights I let Silas help me make, roll and cut out the cookie dough. And I noticed myself being very snappy with him, like he wasn't "doing it right"?! He wasn't even 2 years old... I knew I was acting weird but I felt the same as I had for the previous 4 months, with contractions all the time and a deep aching back from standing too long. I excused it all since we had such a busy and physical day. But hello control freak- "don't mess up the cookies!" I still feel badly about it, haha! I needed a break after burning the first batch. Started putting ornaments on the tree and only finished the top half before the contractions exhausted me so I sat down again. Then when putting Silas to bed I had to leave the room to have another contraction, and then it hit me, THIS IS ACTUALLY IT!
I nonchelantly mentioned it to Thadd and he didn't really believe me. We got online to play Halo- yes, we play halo- with my sisters and brothers. I was very focused and not talking much. The contractions were getting so hard and long. Finally, I said "I'm having a baby tonight!" It was hilarious and exciting and wonderful. We called my parents to pick up Silas and then I called my midwife after they left. She told me I sounded good and to call back after timing contractions and they got closer together. It was about 10:3o at night so we all tried to take a nap before the "show"! Wasn't going to happen. Things came on so fast from there and I told Thadd to call back our midwife, and my doulas- sister Laura and friend Jess! I needed their presence and support, pronto.
I was laboring in the living room with The Office on. I told everyone they could go ahead and laugh I would love the distraction. The assistant midwife had never seen The Office before and she was laughing so much it was the best! Remember the one with the fire drill?! "you stay alive, I 'll get help!" This I laughed at :) But I was very much in my own world during my contractions. They lasted forever but I was so grateful for slight breaks in between- something I did NOT have with my first labor.
I could only take contractions on my hands and knees with Thadd squeezing my hips from behind, since he is massive strong, he was causing me pain but I preferred to think on that pain rather than the pain that was happening in a ring around my uterus shooting around my back. It was easier to "let it be" with that pain. I was very direct with what I wanted/needed in labor, I love this in hindsight because it means I knew my body so well in my labor and that's what I had hoped for. There were some barked orders but I don't think anyone minded:)
Thadd was my hero.
I remember going into the bathroom and telling my sister that anyone who has to be in the hospital, on their back, is SO STUPID not to get an epidural. SO SO SO STUPID!!!! What a dumb thing to try to do "natural" who gives a rip? I said it was so not worth it and proves nothing. I couldn't have taken a contraction on my back if it was the last thing I ever did! And here I was giving birth at home like Mrs. I'morganicgranola! Hahaha!
I said all this in transition... But I still believe it;)
The assistant, Suzanne, asked me if I wanted to take my pants off to get ready for birth and I was like, "Absolutely not. I'm not squatting here naked for the next ten hours!" then I looked at her seriously and asked if she really thought Bolder would be born that night. She raised her eyebrows and nodded, "oh yeah, I think it will be very soon."
My midwife had arrived and after being here for about 2 minutes I heard her say, "is she pushing? Is she really pushing?!" Well, I was. She knelt down next to me and asked whether I wanted my baby born on the living room floor or in my bed. I was surprised by her promptness as I thought things would take quite some time since my water hadn't even broken yet. But I was not going to give birth in the middle of my house! To the bedroom we went. Then all hell broke loose as I pushed and pushed! Loudly I might add! Or so I thought. My water broke and soon after his head was out- my baby was almost here!!!
But then he got stuck at his ribcage as he tried to birth his own arm. I thought I was dying. Worst shocking pain ever and I yelled at everyone saying "SOMETHING IS WRONG!" They just smiled at me as I pushed one last time and birthed my precious Bolder Ephraim and they laid him straight on my chest- Heaven...I was overjoyed and relieved and could not stop laughing and smiling! Thadd was sobbing above me and all 9lbs 12oz and 22inches of a perfect Bolder was screaming in my arms! Just 19 minutes after the midwife got to my house :)
1:43am November 22nd 2009.
A miracle night. A miracle birth. A miracle son.
"Heaven blew every trumpet
And played every horn,
On the wonderful, marvelous Night you were born."
A miracle night. A miracle birth. A miracle son.
"Heaven blew every trumpet
And played every horn,
On the wonderful, marvelous Night you were born."
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Resurrecting Wight People
There is so much to say.
I'd like to say some of it here, and a little more often.
But where do I start when there has been so much time between posts and I haven't written in a LONG time and there is a whole heck of a lot on my heart. Anyways, since the last post, BOLDER WAS BORN!!! I think that might be a good story to tell first...
I'd like to say some of it here, and a little more often.
But where do I start when there has been so much time between posts and I haven't written in a LONG time and there is a whole heck of a lot on my heart. Anyways, since the last post, BOLDER WAS BORN!!! I think that might be a good story to tell first...
Thursday, November 19, 2009
November 19th
One year ago today was one of the absolute best days of my life.
November 19th, 2008 I found out I was pregnant with my sweet tiny baby Telia. Never has there been such rejoicing over blessing- such a miracle moment to find out we were expecting. It was the perfect gift from God and I just radiated with excitement and love for our unborn child. I will never, ever forget how good it felt that day.
I had no idea that I would only walk around with that mind-blowingly wonderful news for a month, and then the baby I fell so in love with would pass on to be with the Lord.
But how amazing to have loved?
Love that strong is impossible to forget. And we can celebrate that! I have been thinking a lot about those weeks of pregnancy last year, and they are the sweetest thoughts a mama could think! I loved those weeks. I will always cherish those weeks I had with my baby girl.
Don't wait to celebrate the life of your child until you're "out of harm's way". Do we actually think we know what harm is and when it will hit? That we'll ever be "safe"? There is no magical number of days or weeks that you can cash in for assurance of life. Because no 12 week mark, no delivery, no status of health-strength-years... can bring us peace. Only the love of our Heavenly Father can bring us that peace, despite potential storms. And if the storm hits, He will continue to give. He'll give you hope. He can restore your heart, making previous tragedy into sweet memories. He did that for me. And on top it all, he blessed me with Bolder. Another child to fall head over heels in love with! Sometimes I just shake my head because I don't know how I could be so blessed to so deeply love 3 different children with all that I am?!!! And the only one I've yet to meet face to face is my Silas.
Now, Bolder's impending arrival is any time...but I can't help but be slightly bummed out that this won't be his Birthday. I've been hoping in the back of my heart that this day could bring forth the miracle of life that we began celebrating in Telia exactly a year ago. That I would finally hold another of my precious children in my arms after such an exceptionally hard year for our family. Things have been asked of us that have taken immense physical, emotional and mental toll on each of us. I wanted today to hold a blessing that could quiet the past 12 months and bring fresh air to the Wight house. I wanted my Telia and she beat me to heaven. And now I want my Bolder and can hardly wait for the labor that will bring him to me.
I want to encourage every parent out there...do not withhold your love. Do not guard your hearts. Your child is a gift today. I've had about 33 months to fall for Silas, I had 8 weeks to fall for Telia, and so far, I've had 40 weeks to fall for Bolder.
The greatest gift, and you hold it in this moment. So it's a truly blessed day. Be brave to love and allow yourself to fall.
It will be the best days of your life.
November 19th, 2008 I found out I was pregnant with my sweet tiny baby Telia. Never has there been such rejoicing over blessing- such a miracle moment to find out we were expecting. It was the perfect gift from God and I just radiated with excitement and love for our unborn child. I will never, ever forget how good it felt that day.
I had no idea that I would only walk around with that mind-blowingly wonderful news for a month, and then the baby I fell so in love with would pass on to be with the Lord.
But how amazing to have loved?
Love that strong is impossible to forget. And we can celebrate that! I have been thinking a lot about those weeks of pregnancy last year, and they are the sweetest thoughts a mama could think! I loved those weeks. I will always cherish those weeks I had with my baby girl.
Don't wait to celebrate the life of your child until you're "out of harm's way". Do we actually think we know what harm is and when it will hit? That we'll ever be "safe"? There is no magical number of days or weeks that you can cash in for assurance of life. Because no 12 week mark, no delivery, no status of health-strength-years... can bring us peace. Only the love of our Heavenly Father can bring us that peace, despite potential storms. And if the storm hits, He will continue to give. He'll give you hope. He can restore your heart, making previous tragedy into sweet memories. He did that for me. And on top it all, he blessed me with Bolder. Another child to fall head over heels in love with! Sometimes I just shake my head because I don't know how I could be so blessed to so deeply love 3 different children with all that I am?!!! And the only one I've yet to meet face to face is my Silas.
Now, Bolder's impending arrival is any time...but I can't help but be slightly bummed out that this won't be his Birthday. I've been hoping in the back of my heart that this day could bring forth the miracle of life that we began celebrating in Telia exactly a year ago. That I would finally hold another of my precious children in my arms after such an exceptionally hard year for our family. Things have been asked of us that have taken immense physical, emotional and mental toll on each of us. I wanted today to hold a blessing that could quiet the past 12 months and bring fresh air to the Wight house. I wanted my Telia and she beat me to heaven. And now I want my Bolder and can hardly wait for the labor that will bring him to me.
I want to encourage every parent out there...do not withhold your love. Do not guard your hearts. Your child is a gift today. I've had about 33 months to fall for Silas, I had 8 weeks to fall for Telia, and so far, I've had 40 weeks to fall for Bolder.
The greatest gift, and you hold it in this moment. So it's a truly blessed day. Be brave to love and allow yourself to fall.
It will be the best days of your life.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Want to win my painting?
Please visit the Ladd's giveaway today! Ends at midnight so get your entries in! All directions for the giveaway are listed on the website. All sorts of beautiful and wonderful things to win! Let's support adoption in this practical way together. Who knows, maybe you'll walk away with this mares-e-dotes original! ;)
http://bringingourbabyhome-onedayatatime.blogspot.com
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Giveaway!!!
Not ours, but it is benefiting a cause we find to be one of the greatest. The Ladd family is on their quest to bring a baby girl home as their own from Ethiopia! They can't do it without our help.
We are firm believers in scripture, and scripture says in James 1:27, "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God is this, to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world." ESV
This is an incredible way to bless this family, this little girl, and this beautiful country of Ethiopia. Who knows? You or I could very well be the winners of one or some of these fantastic items! And stay tuned, because one of my paintings will be featured for bidding next week, and I want someone to bid on my item! ;)
Adoption is a beautiful thing. As we are adopted into God's family through the blood of Jesus Christ, and His atonement for us, some of us are called to do the same for the orphans today. I am so grateful for a pair of hearts like Leigh and Gray, who listen to the Lord and follow as he puts desires on their hearts and leads them towards one of His precious sheep. Praise the Lord!
www.bringingourbabyhome-onedayatatime.blogspot.com
We are firm believers in scripture, and scripture says in James 1:27, "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God is this, to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world." ESV
This is an incredible way to bless this family, this little girl, and this beautiful country of Ethiopia. Who knows? You or I could very well be the winners of one or some of these fantastic items! And stay tuned, because one of my paintings will be featured for bidding next week, and I want someone to bid on my item! ;)
Adoption is a beautiful thing. As we are adopted into God's family through the blood of Jesus Christ, and His atonement for us, some of us are called to do the same for the orphans today. I am so grateful for a pair of hearts like Leigh and Gray, who listen to the Lord and follow as he puts desires on their hearts and leads them towards one of His precious sheep. Praise the Lord!
www.bringingourbabyhome-onedayatatime.bl
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Long time coming.
The big Wight story continues, and I want to keep writing about it. The reason it’s been OH SO LONG is that there is much to say, and after all this time there is no eloquence with which I feel I can start to say any of it. And it’s big stuff, and I want to share.
I want to apologize for withholding the beauty of hope that we’ve been blessed with. My life is sculpted by The Maker and I don’t want to keep His work hidden. I want to share it in a more timely manner from here on out! So here goes!
We are 5 months pregnant with a little baby boy! His name is Bolder Ephraim and we are just itching to get our hands on him and I’m not so patiently waiting for sweet November to come and bring the birth of our second son. Really love him. Beyond tons.
As for my heart. This is the month we would have been expecting our little girl to make her grand appearance into our family. Life would have looked a whole lot different. I thought I would be more sad…not that I’m not, no way, I very much mourn our loss. But a few months ago I just thought I wouldn’t be happy again. Truly happy. And I am. Or at least I’m getting there. What started out so completely devastating is turning into acceptance and “sweetness”. I don’t know how else to describe it. I have a wise friend/sister who has also been through miscarriage and she understood what I mean by that. She said “It goes from bitter, to bitter-sweet, to sweet.” That is how it is for me. You think you won’t get there and when you do, it becomes such a special part of your life story as you learn to accept the relationship you had and have now with the child you lost, even though you will always long for the relationship that would have been. It becomes sweet. Sweet to remember the baby girl I love. Sweet to see pictures of myself the season I was pregnant with her. Sweet to touch the newborn diapers I bought when we found out we were expecting such a gift. Sweet to cling to the blanket given to me when I lost her. Sweet to remember how thrilled and joyful I was that short period she was alive. Sweet that I can never, never, never lose that.
And sweet that the Lord has more plans for our lives. He gives and takes away, and this year He has done both in the Wight family. He has taken away a LOT. He has also blessed a LOT. We will continue to praise Him.
Lord, thank you, for the 3 children you have so far given us to love. May we love them well!
Pregnant with baby Bolder! Due November 23, 2009!
I want to apologize for withholding the beauty of hope that we’ve been blessed with. My life is sculpted by The Maker and I don’t want to keep His work hidden. I want to share it in a more timely manner from here on out! So here goes!
We are 5 months pregnant with a little baby boy! His name is Bolder Ephraim and we are just itching to get our hands on him and I’m not so patiently waiting for sweet November to come and bring the birth of our second son. Really love him. Beyond tons.
Why Bolder? Why Ephraim? Why share his name before he’s born?
Bolder. We just love it. Can’t think of a better reason.
Ephraim. A Biblical name that means “ The Lord has made me fruitful in the land of my affliction.” After losing Telia, hope of a healthy pregnancy seemed faint and horrifying. My precious Father had such a dear plan for us, and graciously bestowed the blessing of another child to love. I am floored that in that muttered state of weakness and sorrow and affliction, He would bring such joy, such hope, such fruit so quickly.
He is a great God. My son is an incredible, undeserved gift.
He is a great God. My son is an incredible, undeserved gift.
Why tell his name already? Because nobody should have to keep their own secrets if they don’t feel like it. It’s a nice little freedom :).
As for my heart. This is the month we would have been expecting our little girl to make her grand appearance into our family. Life would have looked a whole lot different. I thought I would be more sad…not that I’m not, no way, I very much mourn our loss. But a few months ago I just thought I wouldn’t be happy again. Truly happy. And I am. Or at least I’m getting there. What started out so completely devastating is turning into acceptance and “sweetness”. I don’t know how else to describe it. I have a wise friend/sister who has also been through miscarriage and she understood what I mean by that. She said “It goes from bitter, to bitter-sweet, to sweet.” That is how it is for me. You think you won’t get there and when you do, it becomes such a special part of your life story as you learn to accept the relationship you had and have now with the child you lost, even though you will always long for the relationship that would have been. It becomes sweet. Sweet to remember the baby girl I love. Sweet to see pictures of myself the season I was pregnant with her. Sweet to touch the newborn diapers I bought when we found out we were expecting such a gift. Sweet to cling to the blanket given to me when I lost her. Sweet to remember how thrilled and joyful I was that short period she was alive. Sweet that I can never, never, never lose that.
And sweet that the Lord has more plans for our lives. He gives and takes away, and this year He has done both in the Wight family. He has taken away a LOT. He has also blessed a LOT. We will continue to praise Him.
Lord, thank you, for the 3 children you have so far given us to love. May we love them well!
Pregnant with baby Bolder! Due November 23, 2009!
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