Long time coming.

The big Wight story continues, and I want to keep writing about it. The reason it’s been OH SO LONG is that there is much to say, and after all this time there is no eloquence with which I feel I can start to say any of it. And it’s big stuff, and I want to share.

I want to apologize for withholding the beauty of hope that we’ve been blessed with. My life is sculpted by The Maker and I don’t want to keep His work hidden. I want to share it in a more timely manner from here on out! So here goes!

We are 5 months pregnant with a little baby boy! His name is Bolder Ephraim and we are just itching to get our hands on him and I’m not so patiently waiting for sweet November to come and bring the birth of our second son. Really love him. Beyond tons.

Why Bolder? Why Ephraim? Why share his name before he’s born?

Bolder. We just love it. Can’t think of a better reason.

Ephraim. A Biblical name that means “ The Lord has made me fruitful in the land of my affliction.” After losing Telia, hope of a healthy pregnancy seemed faint and horrifying. My precious Father had such a dear plan for us, and graciously bestowed the blessing of another child to love. I am floored that in that muttered state of weakness and sorrow and affliction, He would bring such joy, such hope, such fruit so quickly.
He is a great God. My son is an incredible, undeserved gift.

Why tell his name already? Because nobody should have to keep their own secrets if they don’t feel like it. It’s a nice little freedom :).

As for my heart. This is the month we would have been expecting our little girl to make her grand appearance into our family. Life would have looked a whole lot different. I thought I would be more sad…not that I’m not, no way, I very much mourn our loss. But a few months ago I just thought I wouldn’t be happy again. Truly happy. And I am. Or at least I’m getting there. What started out so completely devastating is turning into acceptance and “sweetness”. I don’t know how else to describe it. I have a wise friend/sister who has also been through miscarriage and she understood what I mean by that. She said “It goes from bitter, to bitter-sweet, to sweet.” That is how it is for me. You think you won’t get there and when you do, it becomes such a special part of your life story as you learn to accept the relationship you had and have now with the child you lost, even though you will always long for the relationship that would have been. It becomes sweet. Sweet to remember the baby girl I love. Sweet to see pictures of myself the season I was pregnant with her. Sweet to touch the newborn diapers I bought when we found out we were expecting such a gift. Sweet to cling to the blanket given to me when I lost her. Sweet to remember how thrilled and joyful I was that short period she was alive. Sweet that I can never, never, never lose that.

And sweet that the Lord has more plans for our lives. He gives and takes away, and this year He has done both in the Wight family. He has taken away a LOT. He has also blessed a LOT. We will continue to praise Him.

Lord, thank you, for the 3 children you have so far given us to love. May we love them well!

Pregnant with baby Bolder! Due November 23, 2009!